Boxes of words

I'm out of all the things
that keep me current

I'm out of all the things
that make me sleep.

So I'm awake.

I could get drunk,
(I should get drunk)
but I won't.

I won't because I don't have anyone to puke on.

I'll just use the floor.
I'll just love on this song.
I'll just use this hat.
I'll just laugh at the cat.
I'll just cook for no one.
I'll just dance around.
I'll just puke

(um)

a little more.

Goodbye deposit.
Goodbye life I've had.
goodbye 2 years.

Goodbye neighbors singing Sting karaoke.

I want life.

I want life so much
I plant it,
to watch it grow.

My creative mind swoons
when it watches a garden produce.

I find peace
in a part of my heart
that is usually out of breath.

I haven't felt that in a while.

I haven't felt anything

ever since I stayed up til 5 a.m
wandering in a park
with a camera and a broken heart
I took pictures
because I did not believe I was alive.

No matter how many shadows
my mind
found
you.

No matter how many times
I
tried
to
lose
you.


I
found
you.


I ran.

Back to the shadows
I slept for hours
I saw you in my dream.
   
you and I danced.

Until morning.
I awoke.

Which I then spent mourning
the loss of you.

While I put the rest of me in boxes
you can have these words.